Fell off the diet and it was finger lickin’ good!

Breaking Bad High Five

The first week of the diet is finally over. It was hard. I really wanted half & half in my coffee. So you know what I did? I put it in my coffee and tea. WHOA! I also added a little milk to my scrambled eggs to make them fluffier.

Keanu Woah

I decided I was going to make this diet work for ME—not me work for the diet. I made a few changes to make it more tolerable. Besides that little bit of dairy I decided that if I was really craving something I would have it, but just a little bit. If I keep denying myself all the goodies I see walking the streets of Manhattan I may eat a FAMILY sized bag of potato chips instead of a single serving. Or a whole cake instead of the glass of milk I really wanted. (I’ve learned that when I crave sweets its really the milk I want and not the sweet. Not really sure why.)

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Plus, these little give-ins help my sanity. I am the kind of person who doesn’t like to be told that I can’t do something. Even if the person telling me is me! Yep, I was real pleasant growing up, just ask my parents.

Glass Case

So, I figured I would do my best to follow the plan but I wouldn’t make myself go crazy trying to stick to it. When I weighed myself on Friday I lost 4 pounds. So that miniature ice cream bar or small bag of chips or can of Campbell’s chicken noodle soup, that I had for dinner because my throat hurt, didn’t do as much damage as I thought it would.

Funny monkey eating soup like a human animated gif

I was so proud of myself. Then Saturday night rolled around and my roommate had a gift certificate to Bartolino’s Italian Ristorante. I thought I died and went to a Dean Martin heaven. I had Fettuccine Alfredo and two glasses of Chianti. Oh. So. Good.

drinking

I told myself I would be better the next day. But my plans went awry when I discovered some unwanted guests had come through an open, yet screened-in window to visit our kitchen overnight. I still had to eat so I went to the deli down the street and got a lox and bagel.

Elephant cleans his forehead with a broom animated gif

After some industrial strength cleaning to the apartment I got ready for a potluck. The title of the evite on Facebook was T’s Fried Chicken. I already knew going in I was in trouble but I didn’t care. T is from Georgia and I really wanted some southern fried chicken. Let me tell you, it was finger lickin’ good and well worth it. You know what else was worth it? The homemade mac & cheese with it’s creamy goodness and hint of heat; the cooked greens with pieces of chicken in it; the ever-so-moist cornbread; and the buttery Popeye’s biscuits! Even the dish I brought, Tuna Noodle Salad, was worth it. If you are going to throw the diet out the window you might as well go ahead and throw it out of the state.

fried chicken

But my fall off the wagon has not derailed me. I will start again. I will not torment myself because I ate food that was not on the diet. This diet will work for me and not the other way around. And if it doesn’t, then, it’s not the diet for me.

Let's Do This

Eat like a Cavewoman

Judging You

“When are you due?” was a common question women in Texas would ask me. My response would be a stern look while saying in a deadpan tone, “I’m not pregnant, just fat. Thanks for noticing.” No matter how many times I was asked this offending question I never thought I needed to lose weight. I like my body just the way it is. I earned this body, flaws and all.

Thats why camera angle matters animated gif

However, in a few months I will enter into a new age bracket that comes with more body responsibility. So it’s time I start taking better care of it so I can avoid some genetic pitfalls like diabetes, glaucoma, and cancer. Plus, one of my best friends is getting married next year and I want to look kickass in my bridesmaid dress.

hghghg

To accomplish this I have decided to start The Paleo Diet, which I am basing off the book Paleo for Beginners: Essentials to Get Started by John Chatham. It’s the 7-day beginner plan. Other diets have never seemed to work for me. I figured this one might because as a kid my mom made meals that were heavy on the protein and vegetables and I was a skinny thing.

George Takei Oh My

Plus, the diet seems reasonable and easy to follow. Meat, vegetables and fruit are the staples of this diet. No bread, dairy, grains, legumes or starchy vegetables are allowed. Which means no potatoes, and I love potatoes. This diet may be harder than I thought because I also can’t have high–salt meats and snacks such as beef jerky or hotdogs. Good thing baseball season is almost over because I can’t go to a game and NOT get a hotdog.

Batman Hotdog

This 69-page book covers a lot of information. It gives a brief synopsis on the history of the Paleo Diet, which was actually created in 1975 by gastroenterologist Dr. Walter Voegtlin. At that time it was called The Stone Age Diet. Voegtlin documented how his patients with Crohn’s Disease and Irritable Bowel Syndrome showed “significant health improvements” when they followed a diet that included “large quantities of animal fats and proteins and very small quantities of carbohydrates.”

This book claims that this version of the Paleo Diet “intends to closely duplicated the nutritional makeup of a Paleolithic diet without being unrealistic, difficult or complicated.” Even though some people wanted to be more authentic: “While there are a few Paleo followers who do literally hunt, gather or forage all of their food most people don’t have the motivation or time for that level of authenticity.”

Ain't nobody got time for that

The book states that the reason this diet works is the “Paleo methods align your diet with your body’s historical genetic programming. You can boost your metabolic rate, speed healthy and complete digestion, regulate some of the hormones related to energy and fat storage and reduce hunger and cravings for unhealthy foods.” Don’t worry it has an easy to follow list of all the allowed and not allowed food.

It also has a chapter titled, “Set Yourself Up for Success” that gives you “the tools to get geared up, motivated and ready to begin.”

Peter Dance Lalala

There is also a chapter that gives you 7-daily steps to help you prepare for the diet. My favorite was the “Clean House” step. Instead of giving away the forbidden foods I just went ahead and ate them all. It was a great week! Just in case you haven’t heard Twinkies are now in stores!

Twinkies

The book helps you out even more by having recipes and eating plans.

To keep myself accountable I will log the weight I have lost from the previous week in a blog post. Feel free to join me on this less-fat adventure and tell me about your journey.

THE CAVEMAN BLUES