Now that Daylight Saving Time has come to an end, it’s dark when I leave work. Which is OK, but after a long day at work I associate darkness with bedtime. Then I think of the trek home and really wish I had the power to teleport straight to my apartment.

When I’m too tired or — I’ll just say it — lazy, I like to fantasize about teleporting. My life would be so much easier. I could sleep in; I could travel all over the world; visit friends in an instant. Grocery shopping would be a breeze because I wouldn’t have to lug bags of food for blocks. And laundry! I could pop in and out during a commercial break! My hair would always look perfect because it would never be out in the elements. Life would be great and lovely.

Then I think, “If I could teleport, I would get SO FAT!” That thought brings the wonderful fantasy crashing to an end. Not only would I get fat but my bones would become brittle causing me to teleport more; then I would just get worse. It would become a vicious cycle that I couldn’t teleport out.

Don’t you just hate it when one of your superpower fantasies is ruined by logic?